wineryan (wineryan) wrote,


> Lawyers should never ask a witness a question if they aren't prepared
> for the answer. In a trial, a Southern small town prosecuting attorney
> called his first witness, a grand motherly, elderly woman to the stand.
> He approached her and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know me?"
> She responded, "Why, yes I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've know you
> since you were a young boy, and frankly, you've been a big
> disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, you manipulate
> people and talk about them behind their backs. You think you're a big
> shot when you haven't the brains to realize you never will amount to
> anything more than a two-bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you."
> The Lawyer was stunned! Not knowing what else to do, he pointed across
> the room and asked, "Mrs. Jones, do you know the defense attorney?"
> She again replied, "Why yes, I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a
> youngster too. He's lazy, bigoted, and he has a drinking problem. He
> can't build a normal relationship with anyone and his law practice is
> one of the worst in the entire state. Not to mention he cheated on his
> wife with three different women. One of them was your wife. Yes, I know
> him." The defense attorney almost died.
> The judge asked both counselors to approach the bench, and in a very
> quiet voice, said, "If either of you bastards asks her if she knows me,
> I'll throw your sorry asses in jail for contempt."
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